from satirist Andy Borowitz:
Fox News Estimates Jon Stewart’s Crowd at Seven People
Disappointing Turnout, News Channel Says
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The Fox News Channel reported today that the turnout for Jon Stewart’s “Rally to Restore Sanity” was underwhelming at best, with Fox sources estimating the total turnout at seven people.
“Our total count includes Stewart, [Stephen] Colbert, and what appear to be a few of their friends and relatives,” said Fox anchor Shepard Smith. “This has to be a smaller crowd than they were expecting.”
But immediately after Fox broadcast what it described as “live coverage” of the rally showing a nearly-deserted National Mall, viewers began to point out irregularities in the images being shown.
First of all, one viewer noticed that the live coverage of the rally was actually being broadcast a full twelve hours before the rally began.
Second, an expert identified the supposedly “live footage” of today’s rally as file footage from a Sunday in 1997 when the Mall was completely shut down for reseeding.
Even in the face of such evidence, Fox stood by its story, with Fox host Glenn Beck pointing out that the seven people in attendance were “largely elitists.”
“I was struck by how many correctly spelled signs there were,” Mr. Beck said. “That’s not my America.”